Side note from the newly Mrs. Wolfe: I heart Allison! I’d been following her blog before she was a “bee” and just loved hearing all about her wedding planning, her big day, and now what married life is like for her and her hubby. She is such a sweet and encouraging girl and I’m glad to call her my blogger friend! If you’re looking for a great blog to read, check out The So-Called Wife! 
Hello Vintage Modern Bride readers! I’m Allison, and I blogged about my September wedding as The Reluctant Bride and Mrs. Parasol on Weddingbee (and I’ll be starting my recaps soon!). You can also find me at The So-Called Wife these days, where I write about being a newlywed and life in a new city. Stephanie has been such an amazing blogging friend, and I am so incredibly thrilled for her and Mathew! I’ve enjoyed following their wedding planning journey on the Vintage Modern Bride, and I cannot wait for Stephanie to come back and tell us all about their wedding. In the meantime, I’m so thankful for the opportunity to share a bit of my own story with all of you today.
I want to talk about a somewhat controversial topic in the wedding world: the first look. Although seemingly innocuous, the decision about whether or not to see each other before the wedding has divided many brides and grooms, including a lot of my family and friends. I actually don’t know too many people who have done a first look at their weddings, and the majority cite tradition as the reason for why they opt out of this trend. There is something magical about the church doors swinging open and the bride and groom locking eyes for the first time at opposite ends of the aisle, and I can understand why so many couples want to save that special moment for their wedding ceremony.
But the first look can be just as magical for many couples, and because I think first looks sometimes get a bad rap, I want to talk about why my husband and I chose to do one at our wedding.
The most obvious reason for a first look is the practical advantage of having more time to take pictures of the bride and groom. My husband and I wanted to get a lot of pictures of us as a couple, but we also didn’t want to take away too much time from our guests or leave them waiting for us for a long time. The first look provided an easy solution to this problem. Our photographers recommended we allot about 45 minutes for our first look, and in that time, they were able to take a variety of pictures of us. This meant that we weren’t rushing through pictures after the ceremony, and we still had plenty of time to spend with our guests.
Plus, first looks tend to produce some pretty stunning and emotional pictures. These are some of my favorite first look pictures, and after seeing these, I knew that my husband and I had to do a first look before our wedding ceremony.
Photos via Mrs. Tartlet, photography by Aruna B. Photography
First looks also give brides and grooms a quiet and intimate moment for just themselves during the chaos that can be their wedding day. Knowing that we would be busy celebrating with our guests for much of the evening, I craved a moment alone with my soon-to-be husband to just stop and reflect on what our wedding was really about. During our first look, my mind stopped racing with all the projects and pieces I had been working on for months, and I let go of all the worries I had about everything coming together perfectly. In that moment, I looked into my soon-to-be husband’s eyes and left behind all the little details. In that moment, I remembered that this wedding was about us and our relationship, the two of us coming together and committing our lives to one another. In that moment, it was just us, no guests, no flowers, no decorations, no food. We held hands and felt a peace and calmness wash over us, totally prepared to become husband and wife in just a few short minutes.
The first look also provided an important moment for me as a bride. When you spend enough time reading and blogging about weddings, you find out that there’s a moment when, on her wedding day, a woman finally feels like a bride. Most women will tell you that it’s when she’s done her hair and makeup, put on her dress, shoes, accessories, and veil, picked up her bouquet, and looked at herself in the mirror. All of the pieces have come together, and staring at her reflection, she feels like a bride.
But I’m not most women, and I didn’t have that moment. I remember the exact moment when everything came together on my wedding day and I looked at myself in the mirror. I knew I was supposed to feel the most beautiful that I’ve ever felt and like a bride ready to meet her groom. But I didn’t. As ridiculous as it sounds, I just didn’t feel comfortable and confident. I felt a little bit like an impostor, like a little girl playing dress-up. Even though everyone around me was telling me I was beautiful, I didn’t really believe them. And I definitely didn’t feel like a bride
The moment I saw my soon-to-be husband, though, all of my worries and insecurities disappeared He stepped back to look at me, smiled, and then said, “You look beautiful.” And I believed him. Maybe it seems silly, but his opinion was the only one I really cared about that day. I appreciated that my mom, dad, sister, makeup artist, and photographer all told me that I looked beautiful, but ultimately, I didn’t care what they thought. I only cared what my soon-to-be husband thought. And the moment he told me I was beautiful, I finally felt like a bride. No more worries. No more feeling like a little girl in a big white dress. Just confidence in myself as a beautiful bride because of an amazing man who sang me a love song and made me his bride. 
Photography by Jerry Yoon Photographers
Obviously doing a first look is not for everyone, and I wholeheartedly believe that each bride and groom should choose whatever is best for them. But I hope that, at the very least, this post has shown you just how valuable and magical a first look can be, and that my story can help those of you who are still trying to decide whether or not to do a first look.
Did you and your husband do a first look? Why or why not? I’d love to hear about your experiences!
Very good post– thanks! We opted to not have a first look, partly for tradition and partly due to time constraints. Our ceremony was at 1 PM, so we were on a tight schedule in terms of getting ready and everything so I didn’t want to pressure it too much with that. I’m glad I had that moment of when he first saw me, but part of me would have loved the alone time pre-ceremony!
Beautiful post! We did a first look and it was one of the best decisions for us. Not everyone in our family “got it”, but the pictures speak for themselves.
There is so much emotion in them, just as there was so much emotion on both of our faces as I walked down the aisle. The first look was a special time for just us and it is a memory I will forever cherish.
I really like what you have to say about the first look being the moment you truly felt like a bride, it is a hard moment to pinpoint and I am glad you have that memory and that special moment.
There really are so many reasons for a first look, from the practical to the personal, and I agree that while it may not be for everyone, it is worth it for every bride and groom to at least consider. I had a first look at my wedding, and that moment of peace before the whirlwind of the ceremony through the last dance is a moment I cherish.
I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it Smile I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post.
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